Stepping Stones in Life and Relationships

We all have stepping stones in life. It’s the path that has taken us to where we are and where we will go in this journey we call life. There might be twist and turns we don’t expect along the way and we might even end up somewhere we didn’t think we would be. The truth about this path is... the choices we have made that have taken us to where we are today. The lie we tell ourselves is... we can’t change it! That isn’t true. Not even close to the truth. Whatever direction we want to go in our lives can always we can changed through new choices we decide to make.

The only problem is... how do we change our choices? Especially, if we don’t realize the choices we are making contribution to where we are headed. Let me give you an example, our choices in relationships. As a young woman, I didn’t make the best choices in relationships. I continued to make poor choices because I didn’t realize I had a pattern based on my belief of myself. I had low self-esteem and de-valued myself. I really didn’t think I was worthy of love. This was in my sub-conscience and played a role in my life at that time. When I started scratching the surface of why my relationships weren't so great... then I could focus on making a change.

To change the type of relationship I had with a man I needed to change something within myself. At this time I started afforming better relationship. I didn’t realize what I was doing at that time. I had no idea about affirmations or afformations. (Afformations are turning negatives into a positive. IF you want to know more about this then click here and it will take you to my blog where I talk a bit about them. You can also pick up the book, "Afformations" by Noah St. John.) I also, didn’t really know what I wanted exactly in a relationship. I came from divorced parents. I knew I didn’t want that. I knew I wanted someone who would love me for me! I saw my Grandparents in a loving relationship and that was exactly what I wanted. I even told my Grandmother that "I want what you guys had. Love," after we buried my Grandfather. I also knew a lot of what I didn’t want! I made a list of those negative things I did not like. If I saw those negatives in someone I was spending time with that immediately rang a warning bell and meant that relationship was going to end. In fact, I would push people away to see if they would stick around.

I didn’t believe in fixing someone because the last serious relationship (before my husband) I had I tried to do that. No matter what I wanted for them, they needed to want to change their life. From that experience, I knew it wasn’t possible for me to fix them. It was only possible for them to make changes in their life IF they wanted it.

My point here is, we can change our lives and redirect it IF we don’t like where we are at in our lives.

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Action steps:

1. Take a look at all your relationships. What is good about them? Is it loving and supportive? Do they accept you for you or do you find yourself hiding your true inner self? Do you need to change something you are doing? Are you negative? Do you believe love can happen for you?

2. Write an afformation around this. Here are some suggestions: Why do I have a loving relationship? Why do people love me for who I am? Why do I have wonderful relationships?

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My results:

This was before I knew what an afformation was however, I would use them if I had of known about them. In all fairness, they weren't really invented at that time. I had wonderful results. I found my soul mate. That doesn’t mean we don’t have struggles. We are after all opposites. If you believe in zodiac signs look at the cusp of Aries and Pisces then look directly across from that... on the circle! Yep! That’s where my husband is. Of course, I knew we were very different and often said we were opposites. I didn’t know for years how true it was!

What makes our relationship so great is we can often meet in the middle and we bring our strengths to compensate for each other’s weaknesses. There is no doubt we love each other even when our true selves can be so frustrating to the other! 😃

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